late night cravings.

Right now all I want is a damn kit kat. Or cake. How about BBQ potato chips? All of these things are in my home. Are they mine? No. But I sure want them to be. Today has been rough. Not because of the diet, though. Just a whole lot of fun things going on in life. We've all been there and can relate. But it's these times where I just want to crawl in bed, drink a diet coke, and indulge in something that won't let me down. Except, it will. My temporary fix will become a permanent addition to my thighs. I don't know why my emotions are so controlled by food. Logically, there is no connection. Food is a survival tool. But it's how I've coped with my emotions all these years. The food quiets my mind. So I sit here without any sugar or junk to shut my mind up. Nothing on tv to substitute my cravings. I guess this is where I learn how to control these cravings on my own. This is a make it or break it moment for me and it's only night one. Guess I'll make it tonight. This helps I think. To use the thoughts I throw out there instead of repeating them over and over until I go crazy. Life's never going to be easy. Days aren't always going to be craving free. I'm done giving in because my day is hard. My days are always going to be hard. And that's okay. How about I pray instead of eat a cookie? I would think prayers help your mind better than any candy bar out there. It's settled. No snacks for me tonight. Instead, a long ranty post and a prayer.